I like clear, simple, uncomplicated, concise things. So lately I have come to a conclusion: everything we do, we do out of fear or love. From the ego or from the spirit. What is fear? The fear of losing, first of all: stability, material things, people, the “respect” of others, health… What is love? Acceptance, openness, gratitude, forgiveness, healing, freedom… I came to notice myself in everything I do, think or feel. To realize what speaks in me then, fear or love. To try to know myself. Some will raise their noses and snort: “you’ve reached this age and you don’t know yourself?” Yes. I humbly accept that I do not yet know myself in all my darkness. I challenge you to test your shade. See, is it comfortable to be there? Do you have the courage to remove the veils of the subconscious and look at yourself naked, filled with the wounds of life, this life and previous ones? See how you have been hurt, humiliated, deprived of everything? Is it comforting to realize that when you’ve judged someone you don’t know well, when you’ve ascribed faults they may not have, were you acting out of fear? Maybe the new colleague is better at the job and can undermine your authority. Maybe our girlfriend is more beautiful and can catch our boyfriend’s attention. Maybe the person cutting the line can waste 5 minutes of your time. And of course, your person is the most precious. Me… Me…Me… Is it comfortable to remember the last gaze of your mother before she died? Do you remember? Or have you buried this memory in a corner of your subconscious, along with other painful memories, saying that everything is ok?
How did we become so intolerant? How did we get that our life unfolds according to the precept “my way or the highway”? Why can’t we accept other people’s choices? Yes, I admit, I judge too. But I notice myself when I judge. To realize what painful triggers that person or situation pressed on me. Why did I attract that person or situation, what do I learn about myself from there and what do I need to correct. Love has nothing to do with ethics or morality as seen by society or the church. We can refuse to give a penny to a beggar and still love him. We can refuse to lend money to a friend and still love him. What does it mean to love? To accept, to forgive, to set others free and ask for our freedom, to give thanks and be grateful. And first of all let’s love ourselves. Let’s accept that we can act out of fear sometimes, forgive our shadows, be grateful that we exist, be free of material or emotional attachments. Let’s accept that we have ego and we have spirit.