OUTSIDE OF THE BOX, NO FIGHT AND NO REBELLION

by Oana

I have chosen to post only original material on my blog and Facebook page. Maybe it’s not the most elaborate dishes, the most masterful pictures, the catchiest plates, or the pictures of me are not taken by a professional photographer, but this is me, it represents me. You follow me in increasing number, and that motivates me to learn new things to share with you, because I want to inspire people, not to be like me, but to step outside of the box, to dare to believe that things can be different than what we are told to believe. Let’s walk together. I’m glad when you share your experience with me, I learn something from each of you. I notice when you charge me for any failed post. I know sometimes it’s just Facebook not wanting to share me because I don’t promote my posts with money, but most of the time it’s you guys who spot my authenticity or lack of it. You are my mirror.

The other day I was watching a seagull catch a fish. Immediately my mind thought: “Poor little fish, what is going on in his soul…”. Then the seagull went to the shore to eat the little fish, and another seagull swooped down to steal it from him. My mind: “Jackass! How unethical!”. Our mind tends to relate all surrounding beings and events to ourselves. How do I know what the little fish feels? He doesn’t have the same “sense organs” that I do. How do I know what is ethical or not in the world of seagulls? Why did my mind tend to side with the one it considered the victim at that moment, and the first seagull was deemed “oppressive” and “oppressed” within a minute? Of course a psychologist can answer these questions in scientific terms. I want to tell you that we are also authentic in the first moment, when we judge, but in the moment we realize that we made a mistake in judging, we are authentic, but also brave in admitting this to others and especially to ourselves.


We present ourselves falsely in front of others, putting retouched pictures of us or about us, we only show a side of ourselves that we consider favorable, because we are afraid of the judgment of others about us. We suppress our authenticity. We want to fit into the patterns accepted by society. But guess what? We are not afraid of the judgment of others, but of our judgment of ourselves. Because we don’t like what we see in the mirror, we create a fake mirror. Look, world, how beautiful we are, how smart, rich, what houses, vacations, cars we have. What does it mean to be authentic? Know who you are and accept yourself as such. Do not deform the mirror. To accept that tomorrow you will be the same, but different, and the day after tomorrow, the same you, changed. To accept and forgive that one “you” from yesterday, from a year ago, ten… Be at peace with yourself. If you do that you don’t need to “fight” for anything. Life comes serenely, because you accept it, with all that it is and will be. You don
’t mind that the mirror shows wrinkles and white hairs, that the identity card tells you that you were born sometime in the last century, that the energy is at a breakdown, that it’s raining outside when you’re wearing suede shoes, that the stove broke down when you wanted to put in the tray with steaks… That’s life. It comes… and it goes.

When you’re authentic like that, you don’t care what other people say. Do you know how many times in my life I’ve been called “midget”? When I was younger, I was outraged: “Look, how rude!” or I attacked: “It’s good that you’re smart and tall!”. Now I smile cutely: “Yes, I’m small and pretty” or “Strong essences are kept in small containers”. It doesn’t bother me anymore because I accept myself that way. If something revolts me in the comments of others, it means that I have not integrated and accepted that something. I analyze myself until I realize.

I started writing this text with the promised article in mind: “Ponytails and ripped jeans at my age.” The ID says I’m getting old. My body is telling me the same thing. This is hard to accept. But it happens, that’s life. When I stop “fighting”, rebelling, fogging the mirror, it means that acceptance and integration have come. And I will move forward in my own way, without conforming to patterns and without judging others if they do. Because I know that then the authentic in others, much, little, whatever, will recognize and accept the authentic in me. Nothing is “must”, any fight and rebellion is useless, and we each have our own path, first alone and then together.

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