Someone commented on my post with the excerpt from Dr. Gabor Mate’s book about autoimmune rheumatic diseases. The comment was written in the wee hours of the night, a sign that that person is going through hard times. “What is to be done?”. I can’t offer solutions, I’m not in a position to do that, that’s not my purpose here. I speak only from my life experience, from what I did and it worked, from what I did and it didn’t work, from what I read, from what I learned, I continue to learn and I will learn until the last day.
What is to be done? If you asked this question, you are on the right track. You do want to know. It’s a first step in the long road that leads to… I don’t know where it leads, I haven’t reached the end of it. The second step is to take a break, take a deep breath, and accept that you don’t know anything. And it hurts. Physically, mentally. If you read Dr. Mate’s book, or at least the excerpt I posted, you understand that your problem is complex and old. No old problem can be solved quickly, by a miracle. Resolution requires time, silence and openness. And small steps. Inform yourself, read. Don’t take everything someone says for granted, but don’t dismiss it either. Any one who has something to say is good to listen to. They may also say a lot of bullshit, but somewhere in their speech there is a truth that turns on a light bulb for you, so train yourself to listen objectively, without judgment.
Experiment. This is where self-knowledge comes from. You can’t learn about yourself if you don’t know how you react to new things, situations, relationships, foods, places. Get out of your comfort zone. With small steps, no need to make leaps. Allow yourself to be wrong. To hurt more sometimes than it hurts now. Don’t regret. It’s part of the experiment.
“Ok, and where is the solution?” The solution cannot come from the same state that created the problem. Change yourself and the solution will come, you will find it.
Don’t be discouraged. The road is long, with ups and downs. Enjoy every little victory, a pain-free day, a piece of information that helped you a little, a good person who gave you something, maybe just a smile. There are good people and beautiful days. Take a break sometimes. It’s OK.